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Other Ways To Be Apart, Volume 1

by underorder

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1.
And in the end, of course we left you in the silence, darling, to meet again, in the echoes of our violence, darling And I’m afraid of all the daylights we could leave alone now, the things we made, all the nights we whispered on the phone now And these are places that I've always been But I’m never going back there again Because it’s clear, when you gave up on me my dear I made you cavalier, we meet like melodies that never come true Bits of sun, falling hopeless on the meadow rivers, everyone staring past me through the words I give her And these are places that I’ve always been But I’m never going back there again I can't see going back there again I’m never going back there again and in the end, we were lost in feathers and friends and I made you meet again, where we atrophy and turn into glue In the end, you’ll give up on me my friend and I love you and we pretend, that we might never meet again — to fall in love, fall apart, fall in love without it And if we never fall in love, I’ll be the body you’re above without it Like the liar run undone, the way you know the day will come without it I’m singing silence to the sun, I’m thinking things I’ve never done without it And if it’s what you’re dreaming of, don’t be a lark, don’t be a dove about it And if you never fall in love you'll be subliminally all about it And when we first fell out of love I didn’t give a second thought about it Cause when you first fall out of love you haven’t learned that you might have to doubt it And all the homes we're dreaming of, all warm and stable like our parents shouted Like a father and a dove, there isn’t really much to say about it And if we don’t learn how to love, I’ll be the one you’re dreaming of without it Cause when I fell in love with you, I didn’t really have a doubt about it Leave the songs you’re dreaming of, dreaming of, that you’ll never outdo There’s so many people left, on the floor, they swing their arms about you Reticent explorers by the door, they sing their songs about you What if I never fall in love, fall in love, fall in love without you
2.
These lovers languishing lazily, Lazy morning simplicity Lazy, over the papers, he says I’m unimpressed if you outshine me An endless stream of lips and wine — everything that isn’t mine — I’ll never know if it was true, but I’ll wonder sometimes about loving you. And you don’t give up until you’ll be the artist-lover you couldn’t see You don’t give up until you’ll be the artist-lover you couldn’t see And she says she’ll love you some day And she says she’ll love you some day But I know not to tell you I love you so loud anymore I know not to be where I fall on the floor anymore The Brooklyn lovers we’ll never be — off-white sneakers and languishing, watching, moving, so aimlessly, isolated from anything. And they say they’ll love you some day Always say they’ll love you some day She knows she’ll love you some day Don’t hate her; she’ll love you some other day And the women I love are so dark in their light to pretend, shielding their lightness like pennies they’d rather not spend. And I hate like a vision how minutes can pass in the night, afraid at the end of a fiction my mind will be wiped. Holding notes at the end of time, alone in circles, selling rhymes, freeze things up in the air sometimes, you'll never know it wasn’t true; and still wonder sometimes about loving you.
3.
Heavy As You 06:18
These styrofoam pencils, you’ve been looking at me Through a keyhole, in a minor key In the luxury dollhouse, these brains, they’ll never be free In the notes you keep hearing so long where you stay out of key To wish I could shake them, heavily to the bone With my face in ink, we blot out the monotone So undeluded, transparent feasts and cologne And I nightmare of cadencing somewhere I’ll stay on my own You could live without it like hummingbirds in tune And I’ll try to give myself (just as heavy as you) There’s something between us, smoke from these cigarettes Love is for knowing these things are just silhouettes I saw in the window, their heads were off, silver church minarets Where they’re so in denial that everyone’s set in one key We’re waiting to be If I could just hold you onto the floor someday With no need to hear all the struggling things I could say I could tell you in a minute, from sideways eyes, and the colors you see Where I nightmare of cadencing somewhere I’ll stay out of key You could live without it like hummingbirds in tune And I’ll try to give myself just as heavy as you They’ll say that I don’t know them, but darling I think I do Maybe I can’t love it all quite as heavy as you We could be wizards, alone in the minor key And then I collapse in an infinite daze at your feet The styrofoam pencils run around and they burn up the trees And then I collapse in a nightmare that’s way out of key The luxury dollhouse, the butler looks at the moon And I watch him collapse like a hummingbird out of tune I could pretend pretty well and sometimes I certainly do But girl if I’m honest I’ll never be free of you We could live without it, they mostly know that it mostly is true And they’ll never know you now just like I think I do Maybe there’s nobody who does the things that they say that they do (What if I never fall in love quite as heavy as you) And all the portrait artists and senators, they retired to drink what they could And I used to love but I used to never be good They drink golden vodka and metaphors, they hate silence and want to be new And they’re full of nothing the way that I’m full with you And you could live without it, it’s the way we were and we know it was beautiful too In my lifetime darling I’ll never be free of you And really I do love you, I wish you’d trust me because really my darling I do And I don’t know how to convince you that honey it’s true And you could live without it like silhouettes and a silence that grows every day on the hill But they wouldn’t get it all; darling I know you will We could like together like lightning rods so embarrassed we suddenly learned how to kill Like a hummingbird, where they want to always be still All these fire eaters and parasites, full of longing they’ll never grow old enough to instill Burning fairy dust and desire to ever be still You could tune your piano like Beethoven where you last forever and people say that you’ll always be new In my lifetime darling I’ll never be tired of you And if we fall together will you rely on me still And what if I don’t love you the way that you think I will And there’s nothing more to love than a vision it’s true There’s nothing more and there’s nothing left for us too And we could live without it and most of them certainly do What if I never love someone quite as heavy as you
4.
I didn’t want to be alone again I thought I knew much more than me And faded colors and basketball Your telephone and your half-priced call The day I cried and I broke the wall I should have known that you would always win And maybe you’ll go say a prayer for him And set him right where you set him free Forgetting what you would never be And smile when you’re too close to me And pick the pieces up and call me art And knowing what it means to fall apart To never know how I did you wrong For being happy and beautiful Your megaphone and your lost control You could be someone

credits

released October 4, 2019

Gabriel Zucker - guitars, vocals, keyboards
Dan Kleederman - guitars, vocals
Marty Kenney - bass
Connor Parks - drums

music and lyrics by Gabriel Zucker
produced by Gabriel Zucker
additional production by Chris Connors
recorded by Chris Connors and Gabriel Zucker at The Creamery and Concrete Sound, Brooklyn, NY
mixed by Gabriel Zucker and Chris Connors
mastered by Chris Connors

album art by Radu CelStanciu
art direction by Gabriel Zucker

released on Floordoor Records

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underorder New York, New York

underorder is the avant indie project of composer/multi-instrumentalist Gabriel Zucker. underorder sets simple folklike melodies within dense, evocative soundscapes and epic compositions.

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